Are We Getting HOT?

We have a “guest” post today! Mrs. CF decided it was time to step up her game! She was asking herself the question: are we getting HOT? Or perhaps better “HOT-er”? H.O.T. stands for Happy, Opportunity rich, Time rich. This is what she was thinking.

Are We Getting HOT?

You all know Mr. CF as a person who can’t wait to be FIRE. He keeps a monthly score of everything in Excel, so that he knows exactly where we are in achieving this goal. He sometimes curses the day that he became aware of the whole FIRE movement, as he would rather be RE yesterday than today. So when we finally (!) picked a date that he would quit his job and start enjoying being RE something interesting happened.

Are We Getting HOT?
Are We Getting HOT?

What Was Happening?

I really thought this plan through. I gave him two options for a resignation date. I thought of goals that he needed to achieve and I even gave him a way out. If not-working isn’t his thing, he could always start working again in two to three years time. At that time, I have to opportunity to start working part-time and/or work more from home.

So what happened, you might ask yourself. Well I will tell you: he was looking for a job. Seriously?! I was thinking it was just a little phase. But then he already talked to two different potential companies in the last month! I asked him the question: why? Mr. CF couldn’t really come up with an answer. So even a person like Mr. CF, from whom you least except it, is living with a stigma that not working is just plain “wrong”.

It Just Isn’t Fair

Mr. CF’s biggest excuse of staying with his job (or finding a new one) is that he doesn’t think it is fair against myself, Mrs. CF. We haven’t reached our Cheesy Index goal, which means that currently only one of us is technically FI. But, he is forgetting two important things when making that conclusion.

The first thing is: I love my job! Mr. CF knows this but apparently this is not persuading him to stop looking for jobs.

The second item he is forgetting is the following. Half a year after we started the journey to become FI (over three years ago) he asked me what I wanted to do when we turned FI. To be honest, I didn’t know! It is not the sort of thing I had already thought about in detail at that time. However, I have also asked this question to Mr. CF in the past three years on several occasions with always the same answer: I will figure that out when I am FI (Mr. CF: hey, I’m being flexible!).

But for me, these goals have now become clearer. With Mr. CF quitting his job, we will actually accomplish 2 of my top goals and it perhaps brings us closer to a third goal that I have. Are we Getting HOT?

HOT and FIRE Goals

Most people have goals or make plans to travel to faraway countries or just golf all day when they are FIRE. Not me, Mrs. CF needs to do things differently, I need to be HOT!

The two main goals that Mr. CF will help me accomplish, after he quits his job, have to do with family. As a parent, being there when Miss CF comes home from school, is important to me. I want one of us to ask Miss CF how her day was, sit down with her to have something to drink and help her with homework. I want a strong relationship with our daughter. It would also be possible again to have family meals more than twice a week in the weekend (Mr. CF: our work schedules and avoiding traffic jams are hard to combine unfortunately).

Because Mr. CF will run the household, we would have much more free time in the weekends (and perhaps even some days during the week). This gives me, for example, more time to spend at my nephews and nieces birthday parties. Or take them out somewhere fun, to build better relationships with my family. I would love that! This for me is HOT!

Goal Nr 3: The Move

Ideally I would also like to move closer to my family. Mr. CF doesn’t always agree with this idea (Mr. CF: moving  to one of the most expensive areas of the Netherlands that is! And I prefer Thailand…..). We are still debating and figuring out how we would do this, but there are a few options that we are considering that might not break the bank. However, it would not give us all the options that we would like during FIRE, such as a big yard to grow more of our own food. But you can’t win them all! Becoming HOT is finding a balance.

Yes, I know, these goals/plans “may be cheesy”, but they are my own. Everybody is different and these are important to me. If Mr. CF wouldn’t stop working, I would have probably started to work part-time sooner. But now, I don’t have to! For me it’s the best of both worlds.

How about you, do you have different priorities than you spouse during (and before ) FIRE? How do you deal with this? How are you compromising skills?


  1. Hmmm FIRO is the term I read yesterday. Financially Independant Retirement Optional.

    For me it’s all about having a choice. I love my current job and I’m very fortunate to live the life I have. But it’s still because I have to. No job means we cannot afford our life ( well technically we could do it on 1 salary but that’s not the point).

    Nice to read your perspective on the matter.

    1. Hey Mr Robot,
      The fact that we can now easily get around on 1 income, and still proceed to FIRE (or FIRO), is a great position to be in. Curious what the coming year will bring.

  2. Finally! There she is 😉

    Priorities are pretty aligned over here; we don’t want to stop working since we both like it! However we’d like to have options and freedom! Spending time as a family and being there for the little one is priceless. So for now working part-time and spend enough time as a family is a pretty good combination(and pretty HOT!). However we also have some other dreams so we’ll continue to look for options to pursue these dreams! As long as you keep them ‘in sight’ you’ll keep working towards them!

  3. Finally, Mr. CF seduced you to write your own blog post 😉

    On the moment we the same priorities:
    – Get rid of the current mortgage to lower our costs as much as possible.
    – Buy a small house in the Drenthe forrest.
    – Not to work fulltime to our retirement date of 69 something.

    For the future, our plans are not fully aligned (yet.) Martina wants to work to approximately the age of 60 and stop. On the other hand, I’m thinking more and more to start a kind of side hustle or part time business and work only a few hours per day until the age of 70 – 75. Just to keep me healthier for a longer period and to delay aging.

    Bottom line: Same priorities on the moment, but different vision on the future. How we deal with this? just keep on discussing and let the plans develop. Do we want to, and have to learn new skills for this part time business? How will our daily life looks like with these plans? Are these plans future proof with the global and local economic developments in the next 3 decades? As long as we both feel comfortable about the future outcome, we will work it out someday.

  4. Haha this is something. Turns out he has become really flexible 😉

    I think we are pretty much aligned in the broad sense of things. We both want to quit at some point. But when it comes to the daily operations of FIRE, and than mostly investing, we do tend to have some disagreements. As long as our long terms goals are pretty much the same, the discussions keep us sharp and well-balanced!

    1. Still need to work on my yoga thou! And yeah, the end goal has to be shared, the road leading to it might be slightly different for each of you.

  5. I’m very happy that the ambitions in de fruitboomgaard are aligned ;-). Enjoying the time together, is key for us. However, our situation is very different – no kid and health issues.
    I can imagine it’s hard. Especially when only one of the two wants to stop working / keep on working. And when you really at the point of quitting. Till then it’s just a thought, and now it’s real. Scary!
    Ask yourself (both) why? Why do I want to work / quit. And then again and again. To really understand why? Perhaps you’ll find a better answer. Or come to the conclusion it is too early indeed. – With the risk on that you end up postponing till you’re 70….. but still, these choices are not for ever.

    1. Things have evolved quite a bit lately, it’s also the insecurity of having one income that is providing some uneasy feelings (which factually, it shouldn’t). We will survive 😉

  6. My wife tells me she expects to be jealous if I would quit today while she is not FIRE yet. And now, she is the one who went from 4 to 3 days working as a salary slave while I could quit my job and she can’t from financial point of view. What am I doing wrong? 😉 (By the way, she uses the time freed up to start her own business to become fully independent of the salary slave construction. Which I highly support, because I would like her to be in that position when I quit my job)

    1. Hey Mr FOB, well at least you guys talked about it too! It’s not a bad thing to know how each of you thinks about these types of scenarios.

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