Rhythm, motivation, goals & the future

Rhythm, motivation, goals & the future what do these have in common and what am I struggling so much with this?

Rhythm, motivation, goals & the future

To be brutally honest, I’m struggling with all the free time I suddenly have after I quit my job. I was filled with motivation to do many things when I stopped working in late April. I’d made many plans on what I was going to do. During the road trip I had no issues filling up the free time available (obviously). But now that this is over and my “normal” day rhythm is gone too, I’m struggling with what to do. Perhaps I need to set new goals…..different goals…..something exciting.

Rhythm, motivation, goals & the Future
Rhythm, motivation, goals & the Future

Rhythm

My mom just dropped by for her afternoon with Miss CF. She is already retired, in the traditional sense of the word, and has all the time in the world to do fun stuff. We got talking about a life rhythm and motivation once you no longer have a job. She also experienced difficulties adjusting to not having a rhythm. You prepare yourself for this, but it’s a lot tougher than you might thing (well for us two at least). Some people might be good at making/keeping a (new) life rhythm, apparently I’m not. Initially I didn’t think this was a problem, but now I’m not so sure.

That being said, I love to do spontaneous things, like going out for a tour with a boat owned by a fellow blogger! That kind of stuff really makes me happy. It’s also a luxury that comes from being HOT. But not all days are that good, nor are there many people around to do fun stuff with during the week. Guess what, most people still have a job. So hurry up the bunch of you! Need more people to do fun stuff with during the week 😉

Motivation

Motivation is a strange thing. It comes and goes, it’s affected by sleep, food and your mental state of mind. I had loads of motivation to leave the job I didn’t really like. Tons of motivation to start my side hustle (because I was running away from my unsatisfactory job). I was also looking forward to do lots of renovation works.

For some reason (lack of sleep due to a distorted life rhythm might be part of the problem), a lot of my motivation is gone. I’ve become extremely good lately at wasting time online, watching movies and just not really being productive. That being said, I do still keep the household running (read: grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking and taking care of Miss and Mrs CF).

Renovations are not as enjoyable as I thought it would be (due to my lack of patience). I’ve been quite busy a bit over the past few weeks, but I’m far from done. That realization also does not really help much. Seems like and endless list of stuff to do. There is obviously the reward once you finish something, but the realization that you are not even close to done yet does not allow you to enjoy said completion much.

Goals

Setting goals can be important for some and crucial for others. Not sure in which category I fall. The only real goal I had over the past 5 years or so was to become FIRE, or at least have enough to get out from under the (mental) burden of the unsatisfactory job(s). I’ve been very focussed on this goal, and fortunately successfully too. However, it’s now time to find something new. Something exciting, I just don’t know what. Albeit that ECO Castle is still on my mind, crazy as that idea might be.

The side hustle is fun too, but I’m not sure if that is the goal I need (or want) to chase. I also don’t want that to become too successful and turn it into a job. That would be the wrong thing to do. However, I do like to have options to spend my time as I please and have some degree of flexibility.

As I get older I also seem to want to have more of a “legacy”, guess I’m looking for a goal that has some purpose to it. Just no idea of what that could be at this stage. Very much wandering here. Gosh I’m getting philosophical now, which is totally not my thing! I prefer to keep my feet firmly on the ground. But I do feel that I need something to strive to, something special, something exciting and new. Something I have not done before.

Future

Perhaps this is just all a phase and I need to roll with it. I do seem to need more of a rhythm and I definitely need to work out more to get my endorphin levels up. I’ve been slacking on the food side too, so need to up my intake of healthy food and lower that of snacks and beer. But motivation, eh? 😉

As to the larger things (and goals) in life, perhaps I need to reach out and work with other people on this. I probably should also try several things to see for what I can create a passion. Like most, I work better under pressure and need to be held accountable by others. I seem to have a very bad personal discipline, getting together with others can mitigate this. Plus, as an extrovert, I love hanging out with other people.

Just to be clear, and despite your best intentions, I’m not looking for your advice or recommendations on any of this. I want to figure this thing out on my own, in my own time and on my own terms. I want to make “mistakes” and learn from them. Only this works for me to make sure my happiness levels remain high in the long run.

Sorry for all this incoherent brabbling, but I needed to write this down to be able to think about it properly. A blog can be such a handy thing sometimes 😉

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20 Comments

  1. Sounds like the same situation I’m in as well. What’s beyond “work”? Probably work, but in a very different way when you don’t have to work for money anymore. I hope you will find what you are looking for. All luxury problems anyway

    1. Luxury problems indeed! Still a happy camper for leaving my job, like life much better this way. That being said, having some “large than life” goal might not be a bad idea.
      Good luck you too, you are getting close for sure!

  2. Hi, interesting read!; i am dutch, 37, and have a passive net bottom-line rental income of eur 10-13k a month. As a result I recently quit my job (still have to work a few weeks tho). I enjoy my work but also strongly feel it would be a shame to not explore other things in life i might also like (hence the resignation)

    Apart from a few months travelling i dont really have a ‘long-term plan’
    (i like to think there is something but equally not quit developed).

    In reality i am super-afraid of loosing momentum and rhytm (main reason holding me back from resignation) – just wondering whether you have any tips / advice from your recent experiences?

    (sorry quit novice to all this – literally started reading on personal finance blogs 1 week ago on the back of loosing my salary and found them quit interesting)

    However => the above (w/r lacking a sense of purpose) sounds quit familiar “already” (especially when listing lack of retaining productivity etc or the prospect that i dont have any friends / acquintances in the same boat)

    Have you seen any more articles / overviews in this context (none of the finance blog i’ve seen sofar seem to discuss any of this => the life ‘after’ quitting a job etc.) much appreciated in case you have some guidance!! Thanks

    P.s. i might have some good real-estate views in return:)

    1. Well, first off, congratulation on achieving such an amazing rental income! Very impressive at age 37. When did you start? Perhaps we should get a coffee!
      Also congrats on quitting your job, it’s quite the step to let go. Despite not “needing” the job financially, it also appears to be something “normal” that one should have. Giving that up is strange at first. If you did/do some travelling, you are more then occupied and generally don’t miss the job or any other goals for that matter. Once you are back at home, and don’t have something to keep you occupied, it is easy to lose rhythm indeed!
      I noticed that for me I need to keep regular times to go to bed and stay well rested, that seems to have the biggest impact on my state of mind. It’s easy to do some more reading, watching a movie or surfing the web and stay up way too late. Also keeping physically active is key, it’s easy for me to stay relatively “stationary”.
      As to the life goals, that is one that you really need to discover yourself. I have not figured out what that is for me, having family restrictions also does not help (school, after school care, running the household. etc.) in terms of having “freedom” to do “what you want”. Finding the balance is tricky for me.

      I don’t know any other Dutch blogger (yet) that have resigned from their jobs and write about it. There are tons of Americans though, you best bet at Mr1500 (https://www.1500days.com/), Mr Free at 33 (Jason – http://www.mrfreeat33.com/), Mr CrazyKicks (http://www.mrcrazykicks.com/), Tanja (https://ournextlife.com/). They all are “retired” now and also write about life after quitting the job. Some in more “emotional” details then others, but it perhaps gives you something to think about.
      Good luck mate! Life is great without a job, but it remains an rollercoaster!

  3. Thanks for being this honest. To sum your post up it sounds to me you’re looking for something challenging that gives you a sustainable, longterm satisfaction. And like you said, you should figure this aim out by yourself. Go for it!

  4. I struggle(d) with that feeling of timelessness when I decided to stop working with employees and had no need for an office anymore. And I actually had (and have) quite some tasks ’cause I’m still working to make a living.

    It’s a journey… and it never ends. Like life itself….

    1. I think that makes a huge difference, if you don’t work no money will be coming in. That is still a strong motivation to continue. However, if I now don’t do anything, nothing changes. That’s not really motivational at all! I’ll figure it out, sooner or later. Life is a interesting journey for sure!

  5. Thank you for sharing this. I´m sure that you will figure it all out soon enough! Maybe from your new ECO castle

    Most of us chasing FI tend to think that when we retire everything will be suddenly awesome. I guess it is a dose of reality for us and it made me think that I still need to think sometimes about the bigger question: “what do I really want to do with my life?”. As scary as that question is…

    1. Hey Mr Lyn, a scary question indeed! Not having a job is great though, I’m definitely a happier person with less stress. Just did not see this drop in motivation coming, it’s a challenge to figure out how to fix this. That castle eh…… 😉

  6. The thing I noticed with an early retired friend of mine is that he didn’t prioritize himself after FIRE. Which resulted in him still not being happy even if he doesn’t need to work any longer.

    When working, a big part of your time is filled up by work but it is you who decides when the other stuff is being done. So even if work determines a lot of your time you have the feeling to be in control of your time (except the work time ..). And people accept this since, well you are working, so it is normal you also want to harve some ‘me’ time.

    But once you lose the ‘work excuse’ the risk is your life start to be lived on other peoples time schedule because you are the one with less fixed obligations. And then, even with less stuff to do, you can get the feeling of having less free time than when you still worked.

    Finding your rhythm and motivation is something you will have to figure out for yourself because what works for you will be personal. But a start is to prioritize yourself first.

    I am lucky, it’s in a sloths nature to do this

  7. Thanks for sharing you’re honest story! I bite my tongue, but let you do you’re ‘Ikke zelluf doen’. I think it will work out well.

  8. _
    Just to be clear, and despite your best intentions, I’m not looking for your advice or recommendations on any of this. I want to figure this thing out on my own, in my own time and on my own terms. I want to make “mistakes” and learn from them. Only this works for me to make sure my happiness levels remain high in the long run._

    Good on you!
    (and i will propably need some of your advise in 2019 😉 )

  9. No advice, because I am in the same boat 😉

    And I recognize a lot of what you are writing. At the moment my days and weeks still have no rhythm at all. And I struggle with that as well. One of my problems is that I hate routine. So of course I thought about making some kind of scedule. Getting up at 7.30am, cat care and breakfast, working outside at 9.00am, starting writing at 11.00am, cooking at 1.00pm… But I won’t stick to it. And often it isn’t handy at all. What if it rains at 9.00am?

    I also have too many plans to be able to focus. The little excuse is that my home is still a mess because it’s being renovated, but it won’t change by itself after it’s finished. I tink it is very human to need some kind of structure in life and you, me and your mother are certainly not alone. I am also looking forward to my first deadline.

    Like you, I am still in the phase of pondering a bit about it (in the meantime doing all kind of things, in between laptop time). I think it will work out in the end, but keep in mind that we are not taking the easy road.

    1. Beautifully written, glad so see there are more people struggling with this. Guess that’s “normal”. Life is indeed a journey, each of us will have to find out what works for him/her/them. I have not doubt it will work out fine, just curious to see in what way and how.

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