I’d be a horrible sugar daddy!

I’d be a horrible sugar daddy! No really. I’ve always been frugal, but the journey to FIRE really has made me worse. Can you imagine me as a sugar daddy? Yes, that was a trick question 😉

I’d be a horrible sugar daddy!

What’s a sugar daddy? According to the internet it’s generally an older male who seeks a relation with a younger woman, whom he provides “economic security”. In short, she get’s his credit card (or pile of cash) to keep her happy and buy shoes and stuff. The “sugar baby” is provided with luxury vacation, jewelry, fancy dinners, etc. Reading back this last sentence, perhaps I should change careers….. 😉

That being said, I’d be a horrible sugar daddy indeed. Here are some examples.

Going out to dinner

Me: shall we out to dinner?

Sugar baby: Oh yes, I’m starving!

Me: great, let’s check out McDonalds.

Sugar baby: What, are you crazy?

Me: no, they pay me juicy dividends! So it feels like I’m subsidising myself 😉

I'd be a horrible sugar daddy!
I’d be a horrible sugar daddy! McDonalds Burger

Buying Jewelry

Sugar baby: I want something shiny!

Me: go outside and enjoy the sun.

Sugar baby: no you silly, I want diamonds!

Me: goes online and checks out jewelry prices…… mouth drops

Sugar baby: Oh I love that one (pointing at this)

Me: what? €31.339 for a ring? I’ll buy you a couple container loads of fake Chinese stuff instead. You can have one and I’ll sell the rest for a profit! You won’t be able to see the difference anyways 😉

I'd be a horrible sugar daddy!
I’d be a horrible sugar daddy! Pretty Jewelry

Shoes

Sugar baby: Oh I would love some red shoes

Me: but you already have 158 pairs of shoes? Why do you need more?

Sugar baby: but these white ones don’t match with my dress!

Me: here is a red colour pencil, good luck!

I'd be a horrible sugar daddy!
I’d be a horrible sugar daddy! Shoes

Vacation

Sugar baby: Oh honey, I feel like I need a vacation!

Me: yeah, me too, tired of seeing you spent my hard earned money.

Sugar baby thinking this:

I'd be a horrible sugar daddy!
I’d be a horrible sugar daddy! Her vacation ideas

Me thinking this:

I'd be a horrible sugar daddy!
I’d be a horrible sugar daddy! My vacation ideas (but without the clouds please)

Available budget after sugar baby got her hands on my credit card:

I'd be a horrible sugar daddy!
I’d be a horrible sugar daddy! What Budget? There is none!

How is your sugar daddy / mommy potential? Want to discuss? Come see me in Haarlem!

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8 Comments

  1. Well, you are DUTCH after all. 😉

    JK man. With three really good Dutchy friends I know this is very much a bad stereotype. All three blow way too much money just like most Americans do.

    I would be a poor sugar daddy too. But I’d occasionally let my guard down with some fervent spending.

  2. You have an assumption that’s totally off: you think you’ll be speaking to her…. IRL these discussions won’t happen, this goes through your bankaccount after the fact. How on earth do you think she got those 158 pair of shoes ?!

  3. Tell me about it. I would be too. I don’t think I could spend that sort of money even if I had a ridiculous amount…. It’s just not who I am. Sorry ladies. But to be fair to my wife, she is frugal too. Works for me!

  4. I actually spend money on my wife way more easily than anything else. This might actually be my kryptonite!

    I even buy her expensive jewelry while she’s not asking for them

    I’m weak.

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