Creative ways to FIRE sooner

Nope, we are not dead just yet. I came across a post the other day that got my brain going again. How can we get to FIRE sooner? What can we do to get to the finish line just a bit faster? Here are some creative ways.

Creative ways to FIRE sooner

The other day I heard that a lady got alimony from 3 different former partners. How about that for some passive income to get you to FIRE faster! Just sleep around, get knock-up and cash in. Brilliant! Not sure how this would work for the male population, but I guess getting married to a rich woman (fortunately there a more and more of those around!) would also be a great way to become rich yourself. Not wanting to be sexist here. Just saying.

Creative ways to FIRE sooner: Weed
Creative ways to FIRE sooner: Weed


In the Netherlands (well, actually in most countries around the globe) getting some side hustle income from weed would be great way to speed up your journey to FIRE. Heck, growing some yourself is a very frugal way to get high! It should be highly endorsed by the FIRE community, I think. Being frugal is a good way to become FIRE faster too. I see a clear win-win here.

What? If I have been smoking some? No, why do you ask?

Anyhow, the ROI on weed is also pretty good, assuming your tap into the electricity from your neighbours. I do have to stress the importrance of insulating your house quite well. Otherwise you are easy to find in the winter when there is snow. Well, there otherwise won’t be any on your roof. Just saying.

You will get about €10/gram for this stuff! It’s not quite gold (~€20-35/gram) yet, but it sure its easier to make from scratch. If you really want to make some money, check out how to make cocaine, this will get you around €40-70/gram. Wait, cocaine is worth more than gold? Who knew!

Go to the Casino

What is the fastest way to get to FIRE? Get halfway with saving and investing, liquidate everything you have and go to the casino. Just put everything on black and you are done! Easy-peasy! Who said FIRE is a marathon? You can always do a sprint to the finish line.

But never put your money on red, that is statistically less likely to make you money, no really, it isn’t. Take that form an experienced gambler!

Creative ways to FIRE sooner: Put it on black
Creative ways to FIRE sooner: Put it on black

Play the Lottery

Despite what most people are saying, you actually have a chance to win the lottery! So make sure you play as many times as you possible can. It will greatly enhance your chances to win and be FIRE sooner! That being said, play the smaller ones that will get you that €1.000.000 price money, you really don’t need anymore. Plus, the ticket prices are lower, so you can buy more. How smart is that?!

Make a FIRE plan & wait

So, don’t be a moron and just stick to your plan. Getting to the point of FIRE just takes a long time. Take a deep breath. Remember why you are doing this and just keep going. Don’t do anything stupid in the mean time, it’s not worth it. Keep focussing on what is important in life, which is happiness and freedom. Taking shortcut’s won’t get you there sooner, at least not the way you want!

Oh right, happy April fools day folks 😉


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